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-I took Clodine through the program to help her 12 year old Daughter overcome her debilitating phobia – Clodine, Skype Client – Barrie, ON
This endorsement letter is long overdue; I first started working with Daniel ten months ago. After a lifetime of “allowing myself to feel” the symptoms of social anxiety – to varying degrees, I finally got fed up with the situation and was determined to fix things. I was sick and tired of blushing and periodic episodes of sweating in social and business situations. Moreover, I felt that my social anxiety was affecting other areas of my life but was unsure of how and to what extent. I searched on the internet with the intention of researching this problem and finding a quick fix.
After beginning to work with Daniel, I discovered that there was no quick fix; only some hard, yet basic work, on myself that had to be done – by me and for me. Daniel guided me through the Thrive programme by first helping me uncover and come to terms with some seemingly innocuous, yet significantly emotional, traumatic episodes that I had as a child. After these events were acknowledged and dealt with, we moved on to managing my thinking habits and eliminating negative and unhelpful thoughts. Concurrently, Daniel helped me focus on the enjoyment of life’s victories that I had been having – yet was unaware of. Apparently, if processed effectively, the brain can’t distinguish between getting a big promotion at work and getting a compliment from a client. The end result is the same level of increased emotional well-being. In addition to implementing other basic tools, I am now in charge of managing my own self-esteem levels and increasing my self-efficacy.
With respect to social anxiety, I have greatly improved my ability to interact comfortably with others in social situations. While there have been some “blips,” I am thriving in most situations that would have previously been problematic for me. I sometimes even seek out situations that would have previously unsettled me. The quality of my business and my personal interactions has improved greatly. From time to time (unexpectedly) I do allow myself to feel social anxiety and take full responsibility for these occasions. Invariably, these minor setbacks are due to me not managing my thinking as effectively as I have capably demonstrated in the past. I continue to implement and expand upon the tools that the Thrive programme has given me, such as: affirmations, being grateful, visualization, reframing, and positive recall. I fully expect to use the Thrive tools to manage my thinking for all the days of my life and eliminate even the mere prospect of social anxiety from my experiences. It is up to me and fully in my control. I plan to continue working with Daniel via Skype for any needed tune-ups and reinforcement of the Thrive methods.
In addition to dealing with social anxiety, I have had surprising and significant gains in other areas of life. Daniel helped me identify and manage the compulsive traits of my personality. Prior to the programme, I had difficulties maintaining a healthy body weight and my expanding waist size was causing intermittent high blood pressure readings. In addition to my existing exercise and nutrition regime, my ability to manage my thoughts and compulsive personality traits allowed me to reduce my stress levels, binge drinking, and eating setbacks. My body weight/composition has improved considerably and my blood pressure readings are “athletic.” I still occasionally enjoy a cheat meal and a night out for drinks, but these are under control and not a compulsive reflex to make myself feel “safe.”
Other unexpected gains have appeared in my social life, love life, and dealing with conflict. I have embraced “saying yes to saying no.” I am much stronger at getting the outcomes that I want and am managing my time more effectively. I am making better decisions that are based on clearer thinking and self-awareness.
Finally, prior to finding Thrive, I used to allow myself to feel depressed (accompanied with a bottle of wine) – all the while blaming it on work, personal disappointments, or the winter darkness. I can’t recall a time since I started working with Daniel that I could say “I was depressed.” I am dealing with life’s inevitable setbacks and challenges just fine.
We all have heard of the saying “you are what you eat” – how true! It’s also true that “you feel what you are thinking.” Thanks to Daniel’s guidance through the Thrive programme (and my efforts!), I feel a hell of a lot better. What’s more, if feels great to know that I am in control of how I feel.
Be well !
DavidTHE THRIVE PROGRAM CHANGED MY LIFE!
I found out about Daniel DesLauriers and Thrive program when I searched the internet for “sexual anxiety therapy Toronto” or something like that.
Prior to this I had been just started going to a counselor which lead me to discover that I had a “General Anxiety Disorder”, medical terminology aside, talking to someone helped me realize that I did in fact have some deep set issues that were effecting me on a daily basis. Not to the point where I wouldn’t leave the house, but just little thoughts constantly floating around my head revolving around worrying about pretty much everything. I was able to live with this, in fact I just thought that was how I was always going to be.
The breaking point came when this anxiety and negative unhelpful thinking started effecting my performance in the bedroom. I hit rock bottom, my self esteem was the lowest it had ever been, my girlfriend was on the verge of breaking up with me, I felt completely helpless and terrified. Through the exercises in the book I discovered that I actually didn’t love myself and part of my belief system was that I wasn’t a good lover and didn’t deserve to be happy or have a girlfriend. So I was basically subconsciously sabotaging my own life.
Those little negative thoughts that floated around my head were leading me down a path where I would be alone and miserable.I felt completely helpless until reading this book and meeting with Daniel every week. It really did change my life.
I learned that I had control of my thoughts and that I could change the way I thought and felt about myself and the world around me. Over the 6 weeks I worked through this book my mood, self esteem improved and my anxiety lessened more an more.
It took a lot of work and self analysis. It’s not really hard work, but I feel like you have to want to do it for it to work. And I did want to do the work. I worked even harder, once I realized that the work I put into it was having a direct and positive effect on me.
You will learn that it takes persistent daily effort to overcome your unhelpful thinking habits, but the more you do it the easier it becomes until it is just second nature.
Friends who have notice the change in me always ask “who is your therapist?”. I tell them that Daniel isn’t the same as a therapist, he is more of a guide. His role is to keep you accountable and answer an questions you may have as you work through the book.
The really important part of the Thrive program is that you aren’t reliant on anyone or any procedure. The changes all come from within. The book and the consultant just help to show you the techniques to eliminate the unhelpful thinking styles and beliefs.
It’s a very powerful thing to realize that you have the power to change and build new positive pathways in your brain for perceiving the world.
Daniel is an excellent consultant. He has a very gentle disposition and has a good sense of humour. I felt very comfortable talking to him and sharing some very personal things. He is very accommodating to your schedule, even meeting over Skype when situations didn’t allow us to meet in person.
I highly recommend Daniel and the Thrive program for anyone who is suffering from something like sexual dysfunction, anxiety, depression or obsessive compulsive behaviour. Thanks to this program my anxiety is not an issue anymore, I’m able to experience emotions, be present and love myself. I am now looking forward to every new day and continuing to thrive in my life. Anyone can do this, I truly believe that. – Donald (Toronto)
When I arrived on Daniel’s doorstep, I was exhausted, anxious, faintly hostile, and frankly, desperate. I am in my mid-thirties, and have been in one form of therapy or another since my early teens to try to ‘treat’ my daily anxiety attacks. I’ve wallowed in it all: talk therapy, CBT, mindfulness, yoga, cranial-sacral, naturopathy, guided visualizations, diet-changes, chakra balancing… the list is endless. I am a competent, professional, high-achieving woman in a demanding leadership role, who secretly popped Xanax and other medications just to get through another day. In the midst of my final round of withdrawal, when I couldn’t stand being inundated with brain zaps and drowning in every increasing anxiety, (and when I realized that I’d been with my former therapist for five years and we were re-hashing the same old stories and ‘solutions’ over and over) I called Daniel. It was a last-ditch attempt, a grasping at straws… and turned out to be the single most important step towards mental health that I have made in my life.
Last week I gave away every single self-help book I have collected over the years. I’ve stopped looking for something external to ‘save’ me, or ‘change me’ or ‘fix me’ or ‘cure me’. There was nothing wrong with me at all – except that I had more than a handful of misguided beliefs and poor brain/thinking habits, mixed with low self-esteem and an external locus of control. In simple terms – I was thinking myself into craziness, physical illness, and spirals of anxiety (because at the time, I didn’t know any better way to think!).
Once Daniel helped me figure that out through the tools in the Thrive Program, I’ve been able to stop the toxic thinking patterns, and also stop the physical and mental manifestations of anxiety, self-hatred, and catastrophic thinking. For me that means no more making it through the day with a public persona of competence, and falling apart every evening in frantic tears, working myself to the bone trying to ‘prove’ that I wasn’t as worthless as I was afraid everyone would find out I really felt inside. It means that I finally, fully, believe that I am an awesome person, worthy of the love that I receive from others – but more importantly, that I am worth loving myself. It sounds trite, perhaps…. but it feels, and is, lovely, and calm, and strong and solid and right.
Thrive wasn’t magic, or even particularly easy. I did the entire Program fairly slowly twice over eight months, because the first time through I ‘got’ it intellectually, but wasn’t really living it. After a break, I re-committed to the program, and lived the work. And now, anxiety is simply not a part of my daily life. I’m still me, my life is still challenging and real and messy and involved – only I’m not systematically torturing myself with my thoughts as I go through my days and nights.
I am profoundly grateful to Daniel for his coaching, mentorship, and compassion through this journey. He created a safe, encouraging, excuses-free space for me to process the Thrive program, and held me accountable for my own growth. Both he, and the program, are worth your trust and your time.
I came to Daniel for help in overcoming a trauma based phobia. Within the first few visits I had with him, he was able to identify what I should focus on which was very helpful. After 6 sessions and working through the book Thrive with him I have made substantial progress in overcoming my fears. Daniel is empathic, easy to talk to and creates a trusting and non judgmental environment in which he conducts his therapy. I highly recommend him.
anonymous in Toronto
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